Let's Stop Pretending This is Normal

This life isn’t normal.

Parenting a child with attachment injuries isn’t just a harder version of “typical” parenting. It’s a different world altogether—one filled with invisible battles, misunderstood behaviors, and moments that feel isolating beyond words. And yet, far too many of us feel pressured to put on a show. We smile politely at school pickup, share carefully edited photos on social media, and nod along when others offer well-meaning but entirely unhelpful advice. We pretend everything is fine.

But here’s the truth: when we act like everything is fine, we do ourselves—and our children—a terrible disservice.

When we pretend our home lives are Instagram-perfect, we hide the real story. We shield our families and friends from the truth, which means they don’t know we need help. And when the people around us—teachers, coaches, doctors, therapists—assume that our parenting journey is “normal,” they default to standard approaches. Those approaches often don’t just fail our children; they sometimes make things worse.

The truth is, our children need more. We need more. And none of that will happen if we keep pretending.

We need to normalize admitting that things are not “normal.” We need to be brave enough to say: This is hard. This is different. And I need support.

And yes, doing so comes with risk. Not everyone will understand. Some people will downplay what we’re going through. Others may even blame us for the struggles in our homes. That kind of response is painful—but it’s also a sign of how much education is still needed.

This will take courage. It will take tenacity and grit. But if more of us speak out, if more of us show the reality behind closed doors, then maybe—just maybe—we can begin to shift the narrative. Maybe the systems designed to help children can begin to actually help them.

Maybe our families can stop being isolated and start being supported.

We cannot treat children with attachment injuries as though they’re typical, non-traumatized kids. That approach doesn’t work. It’s like trying to fix a broken bone with a Band-Aid. We cannot “normal” our way out of this.

So let’s stop trying.

Let’s start telling the truth—even when it’s uncomfortable. Let’s be honest about the chaos, the grief, the fear, and the hope. Let’s advocate for ourselves, our children, and one another. Because change only comes when people are willing to stand up and say: This isn’t working. And we deserve better.

You're not alone in this fight. And your voice matters more than you know.